Songs of Irreverence

Xmas Carols for the Pathologically Irreverent

In the Holiday spirit of 2019, I wrote a few songs…
Sadly, they still seem relevant in this Pandemic Yuletide.

Trump’s Nuts Roasting on An Open Fire

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
Nancy nipping at his ass
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
Subpoenas cut like shards of glass

Everybody knows the turkey is a bigot
Hates those rapists from down south

Tiny tots with their eyes all hollowed out
Will have no food to put into their mouth

They know that Trump is on his way
He’s loaded lots of tax cuts for the rich onto his sleigh
And every mother’s child is gonna cry
Because universal health care will never get to fly

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Donald Trump is really screwing you

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Donald Trump is really screwing you

Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Shyster

You know Mueller and Manafort and Hope the Hicksen,
You know Sessions and Cohen and Stormy the Vixen,
But do you recall
The most famous lawyer of all?

Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Shyster
Had a very smelly nose
And if you ever smelled it
You would say he’s one of doze

All of the other shysters
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudy
Join in any porn star games

Then one Stormy news cycle Eve,
Donald came to say,
Rudy with your nose so brown,
Won’t you turn the lawsuits down?

Then all the lawyers envied him,
Jealous of his truthy pizazz,
Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Shyster
You belong in Alcatraz 

The Star-Spangled Banana

José can you see by the squad car’s bright lights
That your Green Card’s expired, and you’ve lost all your rights?
Twitter swipes and ICE raids cause a horrible fright.

O’er the new wall we watched, rapists gallantly streaming!
And the Donald’s red glare, his tweets bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night of his hatred laid bare.

Oh, say did that star-spangled banner ever wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Honest-to-goodness Sound